Nurture All Life

I was at Shamanic Journeying and Sweat Lodge workshop and a young woman was telling me about her emotionally abusive husband. I listened and asked questions hoping to prompt her to think about things in a different way. She carried on and on about her grief and there came a point when I ran out of questions and then couldn't listen anymore and walked away. Later, in the sweat lodge, as we were going around the circle and stating what we wanted to let go of, she said she wanted to let go of self-hatred.
I was totally shattered when I heard that. What a fool I had been. Immediately I realized what I had done, and when it was my turn, I vowed to let go of the need to analyze everything. This woman didn't need me to help her understand what to do. She knew. What she needed from me was a shoulder to cry on and a friend to hold her close and tell her she was loved - she was so beautifully lovable.
There are rarely easy solutions to life's problems, but there can always be welcoming arms. She was in deep pain, and I walked away from her because I didn't have an answer for her. Part of me felt inadequate for not knowing how to help, part of me felt superior for having figured out my life, yet none of me felt at ease in my own skin. All I could do was let the magic of the sweat lodge readjust me back to my centre.
"When you feel confused," offered the leader, "sing, dance or chant. That's what the elders taught me. Me, I'm just a baby. What do I know? But the elders – including the earth, the stone people, the tree people – they know. Sing, dance or chant and they will hear you." And so I sang, cried and sweated and in the cleansing found my place of peace again. Before she left, I gave the young woman a big heart-felt hug and my email address.
What I've come to know is that my time for analyzing is over. It's helped me get where I am today but no longer serves me. We are in a time of crisis in our planet, in our culture, in our community and in our homes. What more do we need to understand? The answer has been laid out before us already by philosophers, scientists, artists, theologians, mothers and fathers and it is: respect and nurture all life. That's it. It's that simple. Before we can do that, however, we need to help each other let go of the barriers that prevent us from being who we were born to be. The grief, the self-hatred, the fear, the anger, the pain: let's hold each others' hands and help each other let it all go so we can get on with being who we were born to be.

Last time, I wrote about having to find a new home for my giant puppy. There was something inside me saying I was trying to whittle a square peg to make it fit into a round hole, and that just didn't feel right with me. Here's an edited letter we got back from his breeder:
Amik is doing great. He has been introduced to all of the alpacas and my other dogs and he loves to be around them. I think you may have been right about him needing to be around other animals in a working environment.
I have him running loose outside with me when I am out there and he is listening well. He has not growled yet at us or the other dogs, and my one shih Tzu (all of 6 lbs) plays endlessly with Amik and she can get really annoying jumping and such, but Amik loves her and just rolls over to play with her. He is very gentle with her.
All doubts were released when I read that. Amik was freed and so was I.
There are others in this community who know of the all-embracing love of which I write. For instance, Janice Crawford, of Jan's Hair Affair, was diagnosed with cancer in November and had to give up her livelihood in order fight back. Her friends and family saw that she was wasting precious energy worrying about her finances so set up an account to accept funds. Many of Janice's customers responded and that has tremendously lifted her spirits. The rounds of chemotherapy aren't as lonely knowing others are encouraging her on.
It doesn't matter what we have or what we know; it only matters that we respect and nurture all life. We can always offer patience, kindness and a hot drink, and that's what aching hearts truly want…a shoulder to cry on, someone to witness the tears and the hope that comes from such caring.


The Highlands Communicator was created to generate good news, so if you have any stories you'd like to share about people whom you've helped or how you have been helped by others, please send them to me and I will include some in my upcoming columns, which will henceforth be called Dancing Along the White Trail.

Janice Crawford benevolent fund: TD Branch 3042, account # 6250975
whitetrail@distributel.net

Re-Imagining

Last June, on the first day of summer, we opened our arms to a new bundle of joy. Alan named the puppy Amik, which in Algonquin means beaver: builder of dreams. He was the cutest little puff ball, and when I wondered what dream he would build, it seemed obvious – a world of joy and generosity.
Amik was the first puppy I had, so I consulted different websites and trainers for advice. He was a very smart and determined Great Pyrenees who loved being around people. With the steady flow of guests last summer, however, any consistency in the training was impossible.
Amik loved company, especially when other dogs visited too. It was so funny watching him try to keep up with the ones bred for agility. After a good round of playing, he'd just lie down, pant and smile, then get back up and go run some more. He was bigger than the others but had such a gentle nature, no one worried.
After the fall was over and most people had left, Amik's temperament changed. There was a longing in him that Alan and I couldn't fulfill. I tried taking him to town for walks and to visit another puppy, but it wasn't enough. He became very frustrated and began lashing out. We called the trainer back and got a new routine for him, and when that didn't work, got an even stricter one.
By mid January, Amik was very limited. It wasn't any fun for him and it wasn't any fun for us either. Out on the path, with him on the short lead, I began to cry. What have I done, what have I done. We had such a beautiful, joyous puppy seven months ago and now I had a caged terrorist.
I took Amik to the kennel on the way down to the city and talked about him with the owner, Marg, but she had no problems with him at all. After a good chat, I came to understand that Amik was born and bred to be a working dog. He came from an alpaca ranch - from working class stock - and that's where he belonged. Although other Pyrs are great house pets, Amik seemed to have gotten all guard dog genes
I thought a lot about it on the drive down and then got caught up in the conference I was attending. The weekend was hosted by The Gaia Centre in West Guilford, and they had brought Matthew Fox in to speak about re-imagining earth community. As part of the event, Carol Kilby organized an "arts as meditation" segment for the second day so participants could get into the creative spirit of re-imagining. To my surprise, and delight, she had asked me to lead the writing workshop. I always thought I had something to teach but none of the classes I'd offered worked out.
I took this opportunity seriously and planned my presentation well, but I had a restless sleep at my brother's the night before and woke up with a thick head unable to concentrate. At the lunch break, I adapted my work to what Matthew had talked about, and then with twenty minutes left, I did what I do: I went outside. Walking around the quad with my hands behind my back, I remembered I wasn't alone; I had all my mentors and loved ones with me – in me. I also remembered why I was there: receive for the sake of giving, the sages teach and now was my time to step up and give back.
My head was still buzzing, so I walked over to a huge oak tree and rested my forehead on it. "Help me, please," I humbly asked. I then drew good energy from the earth into my feet and up to my head. Soon it was cleared out, and I returned to the class ready to present Entering the Writer's Cave.
I do this meditation called the Secret Smile and at the end I feel totally alive and aware. That's what I felt like during the presentation – it was as if this was who I was born and bred to be, and it was magnificent in how wonderfully it all unfolded. I had struggled and I had emerged!
Driving home, I knew I had to let Amik feel the same way – I had to let him live out his life's purpose. Next day, I called the breeder and some others and put the word out that a wonderful Great Pyrenees was looking for a guarding job on a farm. And that's when I realized Amik was a builder of the greatest dream of all – the dream that we all live our authentic lives. If all beings were allowed to be whom they were born and bred to be, then joy and generosity would prevail.
Now that's how I re-imagine earth community.

January 6, 2007

TIME RELEASED

We never remember days, only moments.- Cesare Pavese

When I think back over the year I feel rich from all the wonderful moments I can relive. Like the December morning when I awoke to find a spectacular scene out my window. The sun was just rising and the mist from the lake was wrapping the trees in frosting. It was so magical I had to go out and look around the bay and down the lake to take it all in.
It's amazing how time stands still in those moments of awe.
Then there was the morning I awoke to an unsettling email. A good friend and teacher, after a recent diagnosis, died from cancer. He taught me about life and showed me how I was avoiding my responsibilities. Recently I understood what he meant and my life has blossomed ever since. Funny, they say that when the student is ready, the teacher appears. It seems now like the opposite is true too: when the student is ready, the teacher disappears. In letting go of my need for him, his spirit has suffused me with love and guidance for all time.
And this morning I awoke to kisses. My giant puppy was licking my face at the same time my unshaved husband was kissing me, and I couldn't stop laughing. What a funny, crazy feeling – so much joy from such a little tender moment.
Time is such a strange phenomenon. I find myself asking the same question repeatedly, especially now: where does the time go? But of course time doesn't go anywhere because it's just an illusion, one we've created to give form to our reality.
In science they talk about the time-space continuum because time is a measure of the earth's movement around the sun – one rotation we name as one day, and 365 rotations we name as one year.
Poets consider time differently:
When Time who steals our years away Shall steal our pleasures too, The mem'ry of the past will stay, And half our joys renew.- Thomas Moore, 1779-1852

ticking my life away, indifferent clocks everywhere - Mike Garofalo, Cuttings

A philosopher said this:
The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it. - Jean Paul Sartre
And here's what two composers have learned:
The purpose of art is to stop time.- Bob Dylan
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.- Hector Louis Berlioz

Time also has a way of converting something that was perceived to be bad into something that can be perceived as good, like loosing a job you thought was so important then finding a new one that better suits your passion.
My father used to say when we were struggling with something: this too shall pass. His experience taught him to let go of that which he couldn't change, because over the course of time it loose its importance.

Time heals.

Time is all so fleeting. Where did the summer go? Where did the fall go? Where did the holidays go?

Then out on the trail today I was thinking about time and noticed that when I worried about something, when I got wrapped up in fear, time grinded to a halt. Yet when I shifted the worry to wonder, I moved into a more creative mode and life began to flow again. I realized then that when I was feeling like a victim, time caged me in, but when I was being creative, time had no hold on me. Fascinating stuff.

So as the holiday season comes and goes and the New Year lays ahead, I will take time into my own hands, create with it, and let it release me into a scrapbook full of riches.
The day is of infinite length for him who knows how to appreciate and use it.- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

December 28, 2006

YOU NEVER KNOW

One of the exciting things about life is you never know what is going to happen.
Yesterday morning I took my puppy, Amik, for a walk and it didn't take long to come upon an adventure. We just got started down the trail when we began to see (and smell, for Amik) animal tracks crisscrossing all over. First we spotted a half dozen coyote tracks converging and dividing, and then we noticed a few sets of deer tracks zigging and zagging. What drama! Right on this spot, a challenge had taken place between aggressive predators whose survival depended on the ability to chase down dinner and skittish prey whose survival depended on the ability to run away fast.
We wandered around checking out all the scenarios and what we found, right by where I have a seat overlooking the lake, were four places where the deer had bedded down as well as a lot of droppings. Using my imagination, I surmised that one of the coyotes had tripped on a twig that was hidden under the light bed of snow and the deer, frightened to death by the sound, jumped up and ran for sweet life.
What fun an imagination is! Think of all the stories I could write with just that bit of information. Whose point of view do I tell it from, the deer's or the coyote's and which deer or coyote? The young or the alpha? And what if...? Isn't it wonderful to be a human being and be able to create any world you like?

Fascinating, isn't it, how December brings out the creative spirit? It's like the heavy darkness pulls down all the useless bits we've accumulated over the year and invites us to let them go. What is left is the truth of who we are. At this time of year artistry of all kinds and shapes comes to the fore and life abounds in spite of the cold and isolation.
It's as if the spirit of the season lifts a veil and we can see that we are creators of our lives and not merely puppets of our genetics. Instead of hibernating, we humans grasp life by the horns, put up lights, invite friends over for dinner, and play on the ice and snow. Kindness is shared, songs are sung, differences between cultures are blurred, and for a short time, Peace On Earth really does exist.

We're not looking for meaning in life; we're searching for the experience of feeling fully alive, said Joseph Campbell. At this time of year, feeling fully alive isn't about having an adrenaline rush from some extreme event. The thrill of being alive is about connecting with others and contributing to their happiness. Ron MacLean of Hockey Night In Canada said: we are not here to see through each other, we are here to see each other through. This may not sound exciting but when you see an elderly woman's face light up because you took the time to visit, or you start a charity drive to gather boots for needy kids, or you help a loaded-down mother get her stroller through the door, your heart smiles and pumps a freshness through your body that reminds you you are not just a person but a fully living human being, a human being who can choose to create goodness, and a human being who will not sell out their humanity for an impermanent toy or flash of celebrity.

We start out as animals, dependent on our family and our pack for our well being. But there comes a time when we must ascend to our human nature and make it our purpose to imagine and create a flourishing world. Let's use the excitement of this holiday season to ignite our creativity and support each other so we can keep it going for all time.
With our imagination, determination and sense of goodness, you never know what will happen.